Lorna was facing deportation proceedings when she met a US citizen by the name of James. Knowing hat her case was already set for a hearing within a short period of time, James offered to marry Lorna. James is 10 years younger than Lorna, stands 6’2” and is a black American with a heavy stature. On the other hand, Lorna is a petite Filipina, a widow and a mother of three children. Lorna agreed to marry James before the hearing.
When they started living together after marriage, she began to experience problems with her husband. She was subjected to verbal and sexual abuses. Knowing that she was going to be deported if their marriage failed, Lorna became submissive to all the demands of her husband.
According to Lorna, James was very sexually active. She was always forced to have sex with her husband everyday; and, oftentimes two or three times in one night. Lorna knew that she could have left James as a victim of domestic violence but instead decided to put up with him.
When I first met Lorna, she looked tired and devastated. However, she assured me that she was feeling fine. She said that James filed petitions for all her three children to come to the United States. She showed excitement in her face as she related to me her wish of being with her children.
Long Time “TNT”
Lorna’s children all live in a small home owned by a relative in Manila. One year after Lorna’s husband died in an accident, she decided to try to make a future in the United States. Her three children were all below ten years old when she left them in the care of her mother.
During her first few months in the United States, Lorna was always worried about her children. She was a single parent and believed that the only way she could financially support her children was if she stayed and worked in the United States. It was a very difficult decision for Lorna to be separated from her children. However, she was also very practical and needed to earn a living. She decided to overstay her visa and became a TNT.
Since Lorna has no college degree, she worked as a housekeeper for different families. When times were good, she had lots of work taking care of elderly patients in their homes. Lorna lived in a rented room in the Tenderloin district in San Francisco. The area where she lived was not a very safe place. Crime and drug dealing is very common in the area where she lived.
Most of Lorna’s earnings from her work were being sent to her mother who took care of her children. Although her work was oftentimes very exhausting, she hardly took any time off.
One night, Lorna received a phone call from the Philippines. She was told that her mother died of a heart attack. Her children were left with the neighbors as no one was taking care of them. After hearing this news, Lorna was crying almost everyday since she could not go home to attend the burial of her mother. If she returned to the Philippines, she would not be able to return to the US again. Lorna thought of what was for the best interest of her children. She mourned the death of her mom quietly.
While she was grieving, another sad incident happened. Immigration officers raided the facility where she worked. Lorna was taken into custody and was in jail for three days. Her friend posted bail for her release. The hearing was then set for her deportation.
A Good Neighbor
James was a long time neighbor of Lorna. He actually had an eye on Lorna for a long time. James is unemployed and is on disability. He also relies on Lorna for support. Working odd jobs like cleaning homes, facilities and taking care of elderly patients was not easy for Lorna. Aside from her work schedule, her evenings were also busy as she had to attend to the demands of James.
During the hearing Lorna had the burden of proving that her marriage to James was entered into in good faith and not just for immigration reasons. Lorna is just about half the height of James. Since Lorna is older than James, the immigration officer was, at first, doubtful of their marriage. During the interview, James was very cooperative and Lorna submitted proof that they actually lived as husband and wife. The petition was finally approved and Lorna was granted the green card. A few months thereafter, she was reunited with her children.
Unconditional Love
As an overseas worker who had been separated from her children for many years, Lorna’s joy in seeing her children arrive in the United States was very emotional. Her love and dedication to her children motivated her to do whatever needed to be done in order to succeed in her adopted land. She suffered humiliation and pain in the hands of her husband but tolerated all these abuses so that the children’s petition would be approved and she would be reunited with them.
There are many mothers with similar situations as Lorna. The sacrifices they have to undergo in a foreign land in order to secure a brighter future for their children often goes unrecognized. Valentine’s day should not just be a celebration of love for couples or lovers. Let us also recognize that Valentine can also be a celebration of the selfless love that many hardworking overseas Filipinos have for their families.
(Tancinco may be reached at law@tancinco.com or at 8877177)
