The greatest generation’s population is dwindling very fast. Most Filipino World War II veterans are now in their eighties and nineties. During their twilight years, it will not be surprising that they want to be with their family and loved ones.
For one Filipino World War II veteran who has been residing in Northern California for more than 15 years, his last visit to his family in the Philippines resulted in his forced separation from his wife. This is not a typical case of deportation. As an 88 year old war veteran, Manong “Fred” was forcibly taken by his children and prevented from traveling back to the US.
Manong Fred was a widow when he arrived in the US fifteen years ago. He has adult married children who are all residing in the Philippines and are also beneficiaries of immigrant petitions. Just like the majority of War Veterans, Manong Fred decided to reside in the US while waiting for his children’s petitions to become current. It has been more than 15 years and his children’s petitions are still waiting for their priority dates to become current.
During his stay in the US, Manong Fred was introduced to Aling “Lilia” who is a single mom and ten years younger. He felt attracted to Aling Lilia and courted her. After a year of courtship, they got married in a civil ceremony. Both Manong Fred and Aling Lilia are senior citizens. They attend dances and parties together. Most of the Filipino community in their locality know them as a happy couple who are inseparable.
There were times that Manong Fred would fall ill and require hospitalization. Aling Lilia was always there for him and attended to his every need until he recovered. Last year, this couple decided to visit their respective families in the Philippines. They bought their airline tickets with the same travel agent and traveled back to the Philippines together.
Arrival in the Philippines
Upon their arrival at the airport, they were met by Manong Fred’s son. Unfortunately, only Manong Fred was taken to ride in his son’s van and Aling Lilia was ignored. As she related this incident to me, Aling Lilia suddenly bursted into tears. She claims that her husband was forced to leave her and she was pleading that they do not take him without her. The son prevailed and took Manong Fred away. Aling Lilia was given a phone number to call to calm her down.
Since she was left alone, a stranger gave Aling Lilia a ride to her family home in Cavite. When she tried to call her husband, Aling Lilia was not able to connect. She has not heard from her husband since. In the meantime, Aling Lilia returned to San Francisco alone. She has been crying almost everyday. Her friends advise her to go to our legal clinic. As she was relating her story, she was sobbing and repeatedly asked for ways to have her husband back. She pleaded for the return of her husband. She is not able to move around and misses Manong Fred.
Seniors in Love
Hearing the story of Aling Lilia was extremely agonizing like listening to woes of grieving widows. In cases of the death of a spouse, the widow knows that the deceased spouse is resting in peace. In the same way, deportees in immigration cases who are forcibly sent back to the homeland may suffer separation from family. This case of Aling Lilia presents a distinct but not an unusual situation. She is experiencing the painful rejection of her husband’s first family resulting in her emotional distress.
Anyone who knows the couple in San Francisco would attest to the harmonious and loving relationship that Aling Lilia has with her husband. According to Aling Lilia, she takes very good care of her husband and her stepchildren should know that she has no other interest but to spend the rest of her life with their father, her husband.
In a culture where parents have a major influence over their children’s future life partners, the same is also true when their parents turn senior citizens. The son of Mang Fred took it into his own hands to decide for the parent who the parent will “love” and live with.
This is a sad but real-life story. In this valentine season of love, we hope that Aling Lilia will be reunited soon with her husband and that the children of Mang Fred should remember that “love” is not only for the young but also for the young once.
(Tancinco may be reached at law@tancinco.com or at 887 7177 or 721 1963)
